Affairs are not uncommon in the United States. In fact, about 41% of married couples admitted that one or both took part in an extramarital affair, according to one study. For some spouses, an affair can be physical, while others it is purely an emotional affair. Regardless of what type of affair the person is having, it can place a lot of hurt and resentment in the marriage. Just because one person or both people have had an affair, it does not mean divorce is on the horizon. In fact, many couples are able to overcome affairs and go on with a happy marriage. If you are dealing with an affair in your marriage, here are some tips for moving forward with your spouse.
Wait to Make Decisions
When the affair is now out in the open, it is important to go through your feelings. This can take a good amount of time. Some of the emotions you may experience are hurt, resentment, sadness, and anger. It is important that you do not make any hasty decisions while experiencing these emotions. You want to be sure your thoughts are clear and you have considered multiple options before making your decision on how to proceed. Give yourself time to grieve before you decide on anything.
Speak to a Counselor
After learning that your spouse has been dishonest, you may not have the same trust. Not being able to confide in them when they have hurt you is normal. This is why it is imperative that you find someone you can trust. Choosing a family member or friend can help, but it can also hurt your relationship if they choose to be bitter against your spouse. Instead, you may want to talk to a family counselor, such as Teri Role-Warren, about the situation. Counselors have experience handling these types of issues and can work with your kids to help deal with their emotions when going through this as well.
Learn to Forgive
If your spouse is willing to move forward with the marriage and stop the affair, then it is time to make some important decisions. One of these is to forgive your spouse. If you are adamant on staying married, then you will have to forgive your spouse for the affair in order to allow you to move ahead. This means not bringing it up during arguments and letting the past go. While this may be difficult, you can always discuss your feelings with a therapist to help you work through them in a healthy manner.
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