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4 Tips To Help Your Children Cope With A Divorce

by Emma Watson

The decision to divorce can very emotional and stressful for spouses, and matters can become even more complicated when there are children involved. Young kids often don't understand divorce, and they can become scared and anxious when their parents split up. If you and your spouse are planning to divorce, use the following tips to help your children cope:

Present a United Front

One of the best things you and your spouse can do during a divorce is to agree to put the kids first. No matter what issues you and your spouse have, you are sure to want what is best for your children. Avoid talking bad about each other or blaming one another for the end of the marriage. While divorce is a big change for a family, it can be comforting for kids to see their parents dealing with the manner in a mature way.

Be Reassuring

During the divorce process, make sure you tell your children that you love them often. Reassure them that while you and your spouse are ending your marriage, parents will always love their kids. Be ready to listen to your children, and encourage them to openly express their feelings and any fears they may have. Most importantly, ensure that your kids know that they are in no way at fault for the divorce— many kids harbor guilt that their behavior or actions may have caused their parents to break up.

Provide a Structured Routine

If you and your spouse choose to live in separate houses during the divorce process, try to work together to ensure that the kids maintain the same routine while with each parent. Structure can make kids feel secure, as it allows them to know what is coming next. Keeping the same schedule while with each parent can help make the transition to having parents who live apart easier.

Seek Counseling

Counseling is a valuable tool that can help the whole family adjust to a divorce. You and your spouse may want to consider meeting with a family counselor to establish a plan for co-parenting. It can also be helpful for the whole family to see a counselor together so the kids can see that both their parents have their best interest in mind. You should also consider having your kids do individual counseling when you and your spouse go through a divorce. There may be some topics and concerns that your children would feel more comfortable talking about privately with a counselor. For more information, contact local professionals like Living Hope Clinic.

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