The day you said, "I do," you thought that you had years before you had to worry about that "until death do us part" bit. After all, no one wants to think about losing their spouse when they are in the height of young adulthood. Together, you had dreams of raising a family, supporting each other's careers, and buying that first home. Now you must somehow find the strength to carry on alone. While the first year of losing a spouse is always challenging, you can use these strategies to ease your pain as you work toward greater healing.
Join a Support Group
Having a network of support that includes your family and friends is helpful for getting through these first several months. However, it is common to discover that others' experiences with loss do not necessarily resemble your own since most people are older when they lose a spouse. To round out your support network, join a group designed for younger widows that addresses issues such as how to grieve while raising young children.
Address Mental-Health Symptoms
Grief can sometimes manifest as anxiety and depression when you are dealing with strong emotions and too much stress. Yet, these mental-health conditions can often cause symptoms that interfere with your ability to heal. Feeling sudden sensations such as heart palpitations or racing thoughts are uncomfortable, but it is possible to get help. Anxiety and depression treatment involves working with a counselor who can help you learn how to manage your stress while using positive coping strategies that will help you through the grieving process.
Acknowledge Your Progress
It is easy to get caught up in feeling miserable when you flub an attempt to make new friends at a social gathering or just can't drag yourself out of the house for that cooking class. However, each attempt you make at rebuilding your life takes you one step closer to healing. Whether you managed to make it to three support-group meetings this week or enjoyed a long chat on the phone with an old friend, make sure to acknowledge the hard work you are putting into feeling better, since putting one foot in front of the other is the only way to begin to move forward.
When the unimaginable happens, it is important to be gentle with yourself. Losing a spouse at a young age just hurts, and dealing with things such as raising kids or paying off that mortgage just adds to the stress. Throughout this first year, remember that having the support you need to heal is critical. By seeking help for depression and surrounding yourself with others who understand what you are going through, you can emerge from this trial stronger and more capable of enjoying life again than ever before.
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